During my undergrad, I had the pleasure of submitting a short story for a Science Fiction course. It was to my surprise that the mark I’ve received from my submission was significantly higher than my previous evaluations! The TA who marked me even personally commented herself that she really enjoyed the twist near the end!
It was then to my greater surprise that when I later shared the same story for a writing workshop, the instructor really enjoyed it as well! He even commented that half way through the story, he was so absorbed into the story that he momentarily forgot he was suppose to give me feedback! He really enjoyed the cinematic feel of it!
As early as grade 7, when I was really into roleplays, I (with my online friends) had came up with an idea for an epic 13 part saga (similar to Robert Jordon’s Wheel of Time or the Darren Shan Saga). The first part of the 13 part saga was a science fiction story that took place on another planet with some diplomatic ties to Earth. Little did the TA and the instructor knew, what I submitted to them was actually a sample chapter in that first part!
Ladies, and gentlemen! Here is the chapter for your enjoyment.
“The God, The Lord, The Almighty … or the subject?”
Cybernetics sound echoed across the large room. The World Leaders had become vastly different since their time on Earth. Some of the World Leaders were simple brains in a jar that was attached to an artificial body. Others were a robot that was controlled by a digitized brain signalling the robot elsewhere. The remaining ones either had engineered body parts attached to advanced prosthetics, advanced prosthetics attached to engineered body parts, or no engineered body parts at all and just a cyborg. The only one that looks fully remotely human was the female, even now, a replacement to that one that recently passed away.
A huge octagon desk sat at the center of the room, each with a different seat. A symbol was logoed at the centre of the desk and a painting of an once massive battle hangs above from the ceiling. A hologram lit up from the centre of the desk, blinding away the logo and extending almost to the ceiling. A projection of a planet instantly displayed in the hologram, and the words “Tinucondera” shined in the projection.
They were the ruler of the entire world of Tinucondera. One of them altered the projection, and pointed to an unidentified flying object with his half robotic and half biological hand.
“Our top-notch sensors picked this up the other day. I’m 110% certain that we must prepare for invasion. War may be upon us but we shall win.”
The other World Leaders all paused; there was more sounds of iron lungs pumping, computers processing than the sounds of breathing. They shared a thought of the previous war in which they are in that very room, as they are the only survivors. The Breakout. A massive war that silenced so many of their people and their enemies while they were back on Earth.
“War is upon us? Is it those Empathics? Are they coming to finish us off? Those filthy weaklings!”
The Breakout was meant to stop The Cleansing. The Cleansing silenced the lives of million Tinuconderians or Incompletes as they were called by the Emapthics. What deemed Empathics different from Incompletes, now Tinuconderians, was that those pitiful Empathics diagnosed Tinuconderians with “Antisocial Personality Disorder” and called them Incomplete rather than calling them perfect.
“We have been monitoring the Empathics for some time now. Their lifestyles and technology is still vastly inferior to ours, they’re centuries behind us and they would be just repeating the past if they dared challenge us. I’m afraid we face a greater threat.”
“Greater Threat? You mean us right? No one is a greater threat than ourselves.”
“We’re not sure about what our enemy is, but I have already sent a scouting taskforce.” He paused, gazing at each of the World Leader’s expressions. Some of the facial expressions were rather real, some of them was completely faked, and some of them didn’t even have an expression. However, each of them refused to show fear and displayed only confidence.
“None of them made it alive.”
Those words echoed in each of the World Leader’s mind, hard drive or artificial audio receivers.
“So. What do we do?”
“Maybe…we should reunite with Empathics and re-join humanity. I’m sure with so many centuries passed since the Breakout, they have forgotten and forgive us about us. We should ask for assistance.” Norsha spoke, hoping she could bring some sense to the World Leaders. Her vocal sounds was fully human and unlike her peers, she now was conscious of the other World Leader’s speech. Whether they were monotonic, perfectly rhombic, or too electronic.
The other World Leaders shared a laugh, the EXACT same laugh in tone and noise level. They were going wild for such an imbecile-like request. Perhaps the Empathics had forgotten and forgiven the Breakout but the World Leaders could never forget and forgive their persecutors, they would kill them all, in the name of themselves and The God, The Lord, The Almighty.
“Don’t be a fool. Remember what The God, The Lord, The Almighty’s will. We rather die than let those help us”
The God, The Lord, The Almighty was the one who stopped the Cleansing. Under Him, the Breakout was initiated and depleted more lives than the two wars back in 20th century.
“We will kill those Empathics before we let them help us. WE WILL HAVE OUR REVENGE! Kill them all.”
They agreed in unison, and electronics sounds beeped and booped the room incessantly. Norsha felt isolated from her peers. She had to be careful to keep her position.
“Why don’t we just conquer Earth and conscript them to fight for us?”
“New World Leader Norsha Amore. While that is a terrible idea like your last one, the issue is we won’t be able to repair The Spaceship before the invasion comes. We don’t have enough resources yet to pool an invasion AND fight an incoming invasion.”
“Wait. We can repair The Spaceship? How come the rest of us haven’t heard of this?”
“The subject was able to design a plan to fix The Spaceship. I’m sure you and I had our doubts about him, and wanted to kill him, but thanks to him, we will have our revenge against Empathics.”
Despite superior in technology, the Breakout was going to wipe out the Tinuconderians. The God, The Breakout, The Almighty stole the only existing spaceship for intergalactic travel and bought them all to another planet, Tinucondera. There, they waited, to complete their revenge.
“Our revenge may be important but we need to eliminate this invasion if we are to even successfully pull off our revenge.” They agreed in unison, right now it was more important to defend their home than to wipe out all the Empathics.
“Where is he now? The subject?”
“His in prison. Rotting away and preparing for execution.”
“Execution? Has he swallow a magnet yet for The Spikes? What did he do this time?” The Spikes was used for prisoners that was fully biological and have purchased not a single mechanical replacement, a death by countless impalement. One of the ingenious ways the World Leaders use to execute prisoners and discourage biological parts.
“Nothing. I’m surprised no one tried to kill him until now after they find out his secret. You were suppose to make sure no one know!” They roared at one of the World Leaders who was responsible to watch over the subject in Tinucondera. The other World Leaders had readied their weapons and a sharp blade was just an inch away from an artificial neck. Being an Empathic in Tinucondera is basically a death sentence. Not a single infant in the past centuries that had been born an Empathic was allowed to live; it was part of the ongoing policy by the World Leaders.
“We’ll have to save him. We can’t let him be killed if he was able to come up with the plans to repair The Spaceship. There’s no doubt what other things he can do. ”
“So he did become a successful experiment. He was made after The Lord, The God, The Almighty after all. We can kill him afterwards.”
“We’ll have to use the subject for the invasion then.” Norsha looked at the World Leaders; her heart skipped a beat, focusing on the image of the subject being happy.
“No way his Empathic! Let’s just figure something out instead. Leave the subject alone.”
Another World Leader roared, aiming a gun at Norsha. “No. We are Tinuconderians. We are perfect. Look at us. We are perfect. We are the perfect combination of man and machine. Through our technology, many Tinuconderians have now lived into ages past one hundred, some even reaching over two hundred! The subject is needed to make us more perfect!”
Norsha stared at the technology that kept the other World Leaders alive. Indeed everyone on Tinucondera’s life span have grown. Organs transplants were now cheap, prosthetics were highly sought and bioengineering limbs were seen as inferior. However she wondered to herself, as the youngest and female World Leader there, whether it was really worth it. Are the World Leaders and their race still human beings or have they all transformed themselves into cyborgs? She kept her mouth shut as she was furthered lectured by another World Leader.
“We are greater than perfect. We are like God. We ARE GOD. Those filthy, unclean Empathics deserve only to be our slaves, our tools, our play things, our games. The SUBJECT IS NO DIFFERENT? USE HIM. Kill him when his served his purpose. We made him. We deserve to destroy him.”
“If we Tinuconderians are to survive, we must prepare the subject then. I believe he was meant for this.” The central processing unit of some of the World Leaders focused on the subject.
“His is not complete. Won’t he fail us? His an Empathic. Can he really lead us to victory against invasion and the Empathics? Won’t he betray us?”
“We will test him. We can turn him into us. He’ll be no longer an Empathic or we can kill him after he is no longer useful. The subject can meet…”
Now truly, the machines in the sounds became quiet, almost as if all technology involving audio were shut down. Only Norsha’s breath could be barely heard.
“Him.”
“You mean our leader? Our God? Our Lord? Our Almighty?”
“Yes! Show the subject Our God? Our Lord? Our Almighty? All in favour?”
The Eight World Leader’s hand went up one by one. They either flexed up, had a fixed motion for the movement or merely copied others. Norsha Amore, the only female World Leader hesitated and was the last one to raise her hand. She was the only one whose arm was even at an angle rather than PERFECTLY angled. She thought about the subject for a bit, and she could understand the horror was coming soon from the subject. She understood him a little. She identified with his pain, and slowly, she was becoming like the subject, an Empathic.
“We have something,” they shared an exciting hesitation, the excitement that a predator gets when it had captured and killed its prey, “for you to see.”
Varon faked a smile.
“What” He paused, there was an uneasy invitation to something sinister in their words.
“Is it?”
Norsha pierced him with her immense glare, almost as if she wanted to say something. An uncomfortable hesitation yelled at him at the back of his head, telling him no. The back of his head told him, “DON’T DO IT”, almost as if someone loved him, someone that could empathize with him. Varon was not in chains or handcuffs but he imagined a pair around his hands.
“What do I need to see?”
“Your Origin.”
“My-My origin? What do you mean by my origin? Why do I need to see it?”
“Because we saved you from death. SO BACK OFF! Empathic. You have no right to exist. We can kill you anytime. You shall obey us or you will die.”
Varon shed a tear as mechanical arms forced him to move against his will. He didn’t struggle at all as he stared at Norsha briefly. They pushed him into a lab, and shut the door behind tightly.
“Wait! Let me out. I don’t want to do this.”
A small whisper came from the door, “I’m sorry,” Varon was sure it was Norsha. Varon stay fixated at the door. He banged and cried, “let me out!”, “let me out!” but despite his cries, there was only echo behind him. The sounds of various things moving or not moving was behind him. He wondered how anything can go worst now. What did they mean by “origin”? In his mind, he saw an image he couldn’t see, and an audio he couldn’t hear. He wondered about his origin. The image of a man and a woman without a face flashed in his mind. He deeply wished for them to embrace him now. He wondered about his childhood and Norsha Amore was the only thing that sprout from his unconscious, there was nothing else he could remember or find. There was a dim light now visible, but yet he still didn’t want to turn around. He was still weeping, and landed on his knees, his head pressed against his forearm. Though they had just barely saved him from a gruesome execution, this was worst, he didn’t want to find out that his life was a lie, and that he lived to be the World Leader’s servant. He might as well died. He was fine with knowing his parents are dead, that he lost his most important child hood memories and that he was just nobody. He didn’t want to be anyone special, he just wanted to be a number and he just wanted to go home but he couldn’t go home. He could only move forward. He took a huge breath and forgot about his fears, and focused on the thought of Norsha.
Sometimes, nothing is scarier.
The laboratory was dark and some lights dimming from side to side. In front and vastly far beyond him, a rectangle light with a faint blob faded in and out, with the occasional strange electrical spark sounds. To his left, various enclosed beakers from the shape of a fingernail to the shape of a full grown adult hang attached to the walls. In the darkness, they weren’t fully visible but a faint shadow could be made out inside the beakers. To his right, the wall was filled with various electronics and notes.
Varon walked further to one of the beakers. He slowly turned to his right and saw many strange organic material in glass cylinders with foul chemicals. As he focused his vision and looked closer, he saw what seemed to be prosthetics. Then it hit him. They weren’t prosthetics, they were real body parts. When the sights of nearly complete body were shown, metal tendrils started to became attached to the body. There were sewing scars between body parts, as if some of the previously encountered limbs had been tied together. When he turned further right, they were only slightly incomplete now, missing an ear, an eye ball, a finger or a toe. Varon could make out the faces, and they seemed so eerily familiar. Then at the very end of lab, there was an open glass cylinder.
Varon paced himself in front of the open glass cylinder. The size of it was just a bit larger than him. It was just a bit wider than him. The chemicals in that glass cylinder had been drained out. They were metal tendrils hanging on the ground and faint footsteps that remained on the ground.
Varon closely examined and unhinged the door and entered the glass cylinder. Things started to came back to him, and this placed felt home to him. He thought about how he had no parents, no relatives, and no one that cared about him except for his estranged uncle and Norsha. The only one he really had was Norsha Amore, who since then had been fading in and out of his life for strange reasons. He had an idea and stripped the clothes from his chest, becoming bare-chested.
Varon never really paid attention to the strange circular scars that was at various locations of his body. He squatted and dabbed his body on the foul chemicals. Faint sewing scars began to materialize and appear.
He jumped down from the glass cylinder and turned to the wall in front of him. A charted paper about the subject that was in the glass cylinder was across it. He ripped it from the wall. It was scribbled but some of the words were clearly readable.
“The subject is too perfect to be killed” Followed by a few lines of unreadable text.
“Unable to succeed in creating another one.” Followed by more lines of unreadable text.
“can be socialized into one of us rather than stay an Empathic.”
Varon tipped the paper and throw it away. All his life he had been searching who he was, and there it was. “No…” Fingers, toes, feet, hand, forearm, arm, thigh, genitalia, eyes, brains, ears, mouth, faces, heart, stomach, liver, bladder, intestines, all together or not together. He jumped down from the glass cylinder. He was in himself, and out of himself. He was no one and everyone. He was nothing and everything. He was an atom and the universe. He was Life and he was Death.
He was Life and he was Death.
Fingers, toes, feet, hand, forearm, arm, thigh, genitalia, eyes, brains, ears, mouth, faces, heart, stomach, liver, bladder, intestines, all together or not together. The sight of all of those, or combination of those, he breathed from his ears, he smelled with his mouth, he stared with his nose, he tasted with his eyes. Fingers, toes, feet, hand, forearm, arm, thigh, genitalia, eyes, brains, ears, mouth, faces, heart, stomach, liver, bladder, intestines, all together or not together.
He ran to the left first but the sight of body parts disgusted him even more and he ran the other side. His heart reaching to their closest, he forced his stomach to keep things down, his lungs pained with a burning sensation. He suppressed it all, away from the body parts behind him, the blood and gore he was running from made his body want to repeat the same. Within seconds, he came to the other end of the laboratory where he saw the rectangle light earlier.
A voice in his head echoed into his eardrums, not beating but haunting his composure.
“Hello…Varon Kange.” The echo of “Kange…Kange…Kange” slammed against Varon, forcing him to lose a part or all of himself. Sweat forced and broke from Varon’s head. His body sapped of strength all over.
Varon collapsed on one knee, just before him was a massive glass cylinder containing a floating carcass. His eyelids widen, his iris froze with fear. His muscles dulled and his bones chilled. The life in Varon deserted him, and the carcass in the glass cylinder looked so much more alive.
The carcass jerked. Less than a body, more than a skeleton that was bathed in a foul looking chemical. An eye ball or two pierced Varon with intense hatred; at first it seemed to Varon that the carcass wanted to kill him but that wasn’t it. No, the carcass wanted to eat him, it wanted to become him, it wanted to escape the prison it was in.
The carcass quaked, its near-fossil-like body still held a deformed hand. What seemed to be an index finger was a mixed of, visible bone and decayed muscle. The finger extended close to Varon, it was reaching but not touching the glass cylinder.
“vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaARRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN…” The cry of the carcass was silenced by the sound of an intense heartbeat. Varon managed a step back, struggling as his legs refusing to answer him.
The carcass was now more visible. Metal tendrils distributed from the carcass. They spoiled from its limbs, organs, and blood vessels. Varon’s neck convulsed in an instant, fluids from his stomach poured from his mouth like a thrashing thunderstorm, onto the cold floors below.
When he was done, when the thunderstorm of putrid fluids had cleared away, when his stomach no longer burned in agony, Varon looked not in fear, he focused on the thought of Norsha once again. He looked the carcass in pity. His breathing slowed, his heart beat returned. This was not the time to be weak, he empathized with the carcass and he knew of its suffering, of the horrors it has endured. He understood everything, and Varon knew he was in control again.
“Who are you?” Varon spoke now with confidence, he Opened Dark, a strange mutant-like power he has achieved. The carcass pulled toward him inside. Part of its head, deformed as it is, slammed against the cylinder window. He Closed Dark and the carcass was freed.
The carcass heaved, a dreadful echo that thrilled Varon but didn’t break his composure. Varon slammed his right hand forcefully on the glass cylinder, the carcass reflectively pulled back.
“I WON’T.”
He Opened Dark again, the carcass slammed against the cylinder more forcefully this time. The glass cylinder remains undamaged. The glass cylinder wasn’t a life support system, it was a prison. It had been designed to ensure no one gets in or out.
“Ask you again!”
The carcass’ tissues ripped slightly. It groaned…
”vaAAAAAAAAAROOOOOOONNNNNN.”
The carcass spoke once again.
“That’s my name. What’s yours?”
The carcass’ groaned again, speaking in pain…
”I’mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.”
Varon took a careful look. The many cords of metal that was connected to the carcass still disgusted Varon but he overcame his disgust. When he saw the carcass’s head, it made him strangely think of a mirror. He didn’t know why he thought of a mirror.
He unwillingly placed his right hand on the external glass of the cylinder. The carcass followed, placing his deformed right hand on the internal glass of the cylinder. An eerie and familiar sensation traversed between them. Father. Son. Uncle. Nephew. Grandson. Grandfather. The same pair of arms. The same pair of legs. The same pair of hands. The same pair of feet.
They exchanged words.
“Me.” “You.”
But not the same brain, definitely not the same brain.
The carcass has started out as a successful scientist, selfish yes, mad, yes, but he was successful. The carcass rose to fame and his inventions were stolen by Empathics, like Varon but by his fellow Tinuconderians. The carcass lost what he thought were his friends, like Varon. The carcass lost his girlfriend to someone else, like Varon. The carcass was rejected from social meetings, like Varon. The carcass was sent to work in different and unfair conditions, like Varon. The carcass lost every asset he owned, like Varon. The carcass tries to kill himself, like Varon. The carcass was hunted down to be killed, like Varon. The carcass was almost executed, like Varon. All these memories, Varon had lived the carcass’s life, maybe not on planet Earth like the carcass. Varon matched the carcass’ hatred. The irrational, murderous rage against Empathics, he understood it all. Varon hated his race, just as much as the carcass hated the Empathics but Varon was still willing to choose love over hate, the carcass never knew love.
“SAVE OUR RACE. KILL THE INVADERS. KILL THEM ALL. KILL THOSE INFERIOR HUMANS. GET OUR REVENGE. WE ARE THE SUPERIOR HUMAN RACE! ”
“No.” A simple refusal, not to both. Varon was an Empathic himself; how could he can murder a fellow innocent Empathic? Saving his race was a different decision, after being so abused and hated by his world, was it really meant for him to take on so much responsibility and take the burden of the entire world of Tinucondera on his Empathic shoulders when he doesn’t belong?
“YOU ARE JUST A COPY. YOU ARE NOT ME. YOU WOULDN’T HAVE EXISTED WITHOUT ME. OBEY ME. I AM YOU. YOU ARE ME. FOLLOW OUR WILL.”
Indeed. Varon was a copy, a clone of the carcass. He knew who was in the test tube. No wonder Varon never felt right with himself. He had no father, no mother, no sister, no brother, no grandparents, and not even any living relative. He had Norsha, but to the most, that was just a childhood crush and friend, rather than anyone that made him feel like he belonged or that he was himself. Who was he now? Was he just an experiment or a test subject? Was he just a soldier? Was he suppose to be anyone in the Tinucondera? He couldn’t accept the fact that all his life, when his trying to be do well in the world of Tinucondera, as cruel as it was to him, it was just in vain. He had just find out he is a clone meant to be used as a tool. He wanted to die, but what good would that do? He made so many sacrifices for the people around him, and for people not to appreciate him for it.
“Was I created for this? Was I created so that you can get back on humanity? Was I created,” a fury of rage inside him, building inside him, and some parts of him told him he was the same as the carcass.
“TO SAVE OUR RACE? WAS I JUST YOUR PUPPET?” He Opened Dark, his mutant powers unlocked unconsciously and the entire carcass slammed heavily against the cylinder window, cracking a slight dent in the window while leaving the carcass bleeding. The foul chemicals in the cylinder were already healing the carcass’ wounds.
“You…” The carcass paused in pain. “Don’t understand anything.” The carcass struggled.
“I DON’T UNDERSTAND? THEN TELL ME! WHAT DO I UNDERSTAND? WHAT DO YOU UNDERSTAND? TELL ME! NOW.” Varon’s rage fueled him.
“We are…Tinuconderas. The greatest humans ever to live. The greatest beings in the universe. We are perfect. The true human beings, the best part of humanity. They had no right to remove us, to persecute us. We are the perfect combination between flesh and machine. We deserve to kill those who oppose us, to conquer, to survive. We SHALL HAVE everything! NO ONE WILL STOP US.”
“You are a madman.”
“A madman? Am I a madman or are you? You are just a weaker version of me. A failed science experiment. An Empathic, you are a violation, a disgust to our race, an inferior being that is no different than the very ones who outcast us and most of all, an insult to me, the king of all Tinuconderians. You have no right to be called Varon Kange. I’m the true Varon Kange. If I wasn’t so old and need this to survive, if I had your body, I would’ve lead our race to the death of humanity a long time ago. Do your original a favour, and carry on our will. We will have our revenge.”
“I won’t do any of the sort!”
“You will. Or you will die.”
A painful feeling came onto his head, Varon took a few steps backwards. He stared at the carcass, looking for any information or a way to get out of his situation. The carcass was right. There wasn’t anywhere to go. He would die if he refused to help, the World Leaders would kill him.
“I might be your copy, but I’m not you. I’m Varon Kange. The RIGHT Varon Kange. Even though I may come from you. I will fix the mistakes you have done.”
“DO NOT DEFY ME. YOU ARE A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT. CARRY ON AS YOU WERE INTENDED TO BE.”
“What happened to you? You used to be a human being, we all once were. Sure humans have persecuted us all, but you have created a world where none of us are truly happy. We have lost our humanity, we’re not perfect! You have created nothing but monsters in Tinucondera. I almost killed myself and was almost killed! All for YOUR revenge. You are EVIL. We are inferior, no wonder Empathics hate us if this world is so cruel.”
The carcass froze, Varon left it speechless.
“KILL HIM. NOW.”
The laboratory doors forced open from behind, the World Leaders zoomed in before Varon could react. Varon took the quick time he had, and he Opened Dark. With a forceful thought of both deep hatred and love for the carcass, he shattered the glass cylinder. The foul chemicals spew out onto the ground, with a dark smoke that ripped into his nostrils, and passed into his brain.
The carcass lay jerked and tossed itself across the lab. The attached metal cord that disconnected from it thrashed in the room. Electrical sparks fried and yelped the laboratory, shattering the other glass cylinders, spewing out numerous body parts across the room.
Slowly, as the carcass yelped its last few seconds of cries. A bath of its blood, of shattered bones, of rotten flesh and of the chemicals remained on the floor seeped and spread in all directions.
The carcass then lay motionless. This was the first crime Varon had committed against Tinucondera.
The world leaders, especially Norsha looked at Varon Kange. They wondered, by the thought of the black smoke.
“Who…are you? The God, The Lord, The Almighty … or the subject?”
“I’m Varon Kange.”
That was all they needed to know.
